Hospitalization Discussion group's Journal
Friday, July 22, 2005
The therapist admitted at one point that she herself had had an eating disorder at one point. I hate to admit it but I looked at her rather boxy shape and felt a sinking flutter in the pit of my stomach. Still she seemed infintely more together than I was and I would have gladly traded a much larger point rear end for the settled and comfortable existence I assumed that she led. To this day though I still wonder why she didn't realize, having been in the same position herself, that when she flipped through those food journals she made me turn in every week, that I felt as embarrassed and violated as if someone were reading a diary of my most depraved and least flattering moments.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
I started seeing a psychologist when I was in grad school because I had just moved into my own apartment for the first time and all I could buy at the grocery store was diet mountain dew and cat food. At the first appointment, I told her how my mother had banned me from the kitchen when I was a teenager because our stove was so old and I was so lacking in the common sense department that she was afraid I would blow up the apartment building. I actually said I wanted some help getting used to cooking and eating in my own house.
11:26AM - hola
I started this community because although people often talk about their daily struggles with their eating disorder, I find there isn't much direct discussion of treatment which can also be a struggle and sometimes even counter productive and damaging. It is my hope that having a place to talk about such things with people who have had similar experiences will help those in the process and ease the worries or answer questions of people considering it.